Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Kiss of Death

The skeletal spotlight shines this time on:
"The Kiss & Kill" movie poster


"Uh, sorry, lady, but we're from two different worlds."


"S'cuse Me While I Kiss This Skull!"

I've never seen this Jess Franco-directed 1968 Fu Manchu movie, but it has two things going for it already: Christopher Lee, and the movie poster. The girl is puckering up for a kiss but the intended target looks like he's about to bite her lips off. And that's the trouble with these living/deceased romances... someone is going to have to change their lifestyle drastically, and I doubt it will ever be the dead one. And how are you going to take the new love home to Mother? Imagine the awkwardness as you both sit there in the parlor with her after the introductions. Another drawback is that the dead have really, really fetid breath that no amount of Tic-Tacs can ever cover up completely.


The imagery of smootching a skull has been a tittilating one for a long time, going back to the Middle Ages. I mean, woman are attracted to rotten boys, and you don't get any more rotten than a skull. Here are a few pictures that have depicted this perverse pastime down through the years.




She really hated it when he nibbled her ear.
There wasn't much left of it as there was.

The lady in this image above looks a little unhappy, but being that ugly, she really had to take what love she could get... so it paid off to advertise like that.


"Oh, thou cad! Thou really art uncouth. But I lovest thee!"


"Not another kiss until you do something about that breath. What did you have for lunch, week-old offal?"


Lucy learned the hard way that the picture posted on the
profile doesn't always match the present appearance.


"What's wrong, sweetheart? Didn't you say
you loved me for what I was on the inside?"



Any girl that wears such a shirt should
expect to end up like the images we've seen.
And when they do, they'll only have themselves to blame.


Love means never having to say you're really
too freaky to have a normal relationship.



Guys, this is the only skeleton picture you can show
your wife and have her say, "Oh, how romantic!"

And this one wraps it up, because there's really no way to top it.
Obviously the phrase "till death do us part" wasn't included in their vows.

6 comments:

Karswell said...

And don't forget the ultimate mag out there devoted solely to today's theme:
http://www.girlsandcorpses.com/

Fred said...

Karswell,

In googling for images to accompany the poster, I ran across a link to the site, but I was too chicken to visit it! A little kiss is one thing, but it read like a death porn site, and I didn't want to go that far. I'm just in it for a little fun! :)

Fred said...

Karswell,

Okay, based on your recommendation I visited it. My eyeballs quivered in fear and retreated to the recesses of my skull to try and recover from the trauma.

Thanks to you I am now blind until I can convince them it's safe to come out! :P

Karswell said...

Sorry?

Fred said...

No need to apologise... my comments were for humor's sake.

But as for this site, the term "Sweet" skulls means it won't ever get too hard to handle for anyone viewing it in the 12-year-old age range. It's about the age I stopped growing at.

It's all for fun, good, clean, skull-oriented fun.

Did something in that sentance strike anyone as strange?

:)

Maree said...

Good for people to know.