The Skull Chair

The Skeletal Spotlight shines this time on:
Bob the Angry Flower's Skull Chair
(click on images to enlarge)

http://angryflower.com/archive.html

Bob the Angry Flower, always honing his world-domination plans, hangs out with his long-suffering pals; the jaded and cynical Stumpy and the innocent and optimistic Freddie the Flying Fetus. Don't look for explanations... don't question. Just accept that it's Bob's world and you are a boot-trodden yard muffin in it. Check out the archives. And take a ham sandwich, you'll be there awhile.

Since he brought up the subject of skull chairs, here are a few more to consider adding to your collection. They will complement my skull-shaped commode quite nicely.

Designed more for looks than comfort, it just never caught on for a TV easy chair.
Image source and more info



The chair to use when mixing a Flaming Skull. And also when preparing a drink.
Image source

Before The Phantom got his Skull Throne, he had to make do with the Skull Chair.
Image Source Tom Spina Designs

Presenting The Sensory Deprivation Skull Chair!

"Okay, guys, the shot you gave me is starting to kick in. What happens now?"
(Image source)

Useful more as a torture device/solitary confinement than a relaxation/meditation aid, this was designed by the same wacky, way-out-there "artiste" Atelier van Lie Shout (sic) who made the Skull Sauna, posted on earlier.

In the Skull Chair, no-one can hear you scream...

Yes, it might be cool to sit in it for a few minutes, even in the dark with the door closed... but let someone LOCK it from the outside, and see just how fast you being the slide down into apprehension, then fear, then claustrophobia, then panic, then loss of bladder control, then traumatic catatonia.

Comes with convenient Urine Collection pan in the bottom of the chair.

Yeah. It's a torture device at it's evil heart, just like waterboarding is slightly more than a pleasant and relaxing facial moisture therapy.

Besides, you remember what came out of the last movie sensory deprivation experiment, "Altered States."

If you have a case of "shy bladder" don't try going here.

When finished, take your skull-print paper from this cheery holder.

In case you don't have a skull-shaped commode, you can make do with a skull-adorned toilet seat cover...

Just don't sit on it with the lid down.

And in case this excessively scares the crap out of you, use this skullish toilet brush and holder when you are done...

The Skull of Frankenstein

The Skeletal Spotlight shines this time on:

"The Skull Of Frankenstein"

(Click on images to enlarge)

If anything, he's even scarier now.

Image source: http://www.sideshowworld.com/TSK-FranksSkull.html

All I want to know is... how did he finally expire?

I mean, The Monster was one tough son-of-a-gun, but like a Timex watch, he took a licking and kept on ticking. After all he went through in the film series and survived, I can only imagine it took an extended acid bath or a nuclear blast to cause him to succumb. And looking at his remains, I'm not entirely convinced we've seen the last of him.

Artist Thomas Scott Kuebler really turns out some incredible work. Check out his site for a gallery of nightmarish sculptures that is every monster kid's dream; not only Frankenstein's Monster (alive and "dead") but other classics like Nosferatu, Lon Chaney's Phantom of the Opera, Lon Chaney Jr's Wolfman, and fantastic original creations.

This guy should be working in the movies, is all I can say.

Whatever you do, don't put it by an open window during a thunderstorm.

Another reason he wanted a bride... to wash his clothes without shrinking them.

Monster-Size Skeletons

The Skeletal Spotlight shines this time on:
"Real" Monster-Size Skeletons


"Dream on, my small sucker friend! I'm just the first of life's many educational disappointments."

Of course we all remember the above ad for the "monster size skeleton" in our comic books and magazines. The copy for it was sneakily deceptive from the start: 5 feet tall is not "monster-sized," unless you consider your grandmother to be a monster. Most recall the ubiquitous ad with a sense of unfulfilled longing; but for those that sent off for it, aching disillusionment. Like many things we desire in this life, Mr. Bones was best left to the imagination and wishful thinking. But just because this monster-sized skeleton was a ripoff, doesn't mean that they don't exist. Yes, Virginia, there is a giant skeleton... several, in fact; for below we have photographic proof. And we all know that can't be faked!

A vitim of hit-and-run, the poor pedestrian expired waiting for the ambulance. The rubber-necking passersby just gawked, snickering at his obvious boner.

True to the old adage, he fell hard. Left where he died, the city was simply built around the ancient giant.

About the skeleton:

Created by the late Gino De Dominicis (who died at the young age of 51 in 1998)some of the photos here were taken when it was being displayed in the Pallazo Reale in Milan in 2007.

The only thing that gives this skeleton away as being
a fake is the long nose bone. What was up with that?

"Do you see anything on the bottom of my foot? Cause it feels like I have a bunion."

It is speculated that the giant was killed when he stabbed
himself in the chest during a particularly savage sneeze.

As the crowd began to gather, an onlooker sadly
declared "T'was Beauty what killed the Beast."


It's a lesser-known bit of history that the village folk all ate for a month on the leftovers.


Unfortunately for Gulliver, the Lilliputions took no chances.

Lest you think our beaked friend is unique to the world, there exists a giant skeleton making the rounds that is considerably more active.

"Iiiiiiiii'm a gonna gitcha! Iiiiiiii'm a gonna gitcha! Gitcha-gitcha-gitcha-gitcha!"

"Bite me, Big Bird boy! I don't have a beak bone... and I actually can fly!"

About the skeleton:
Visitors study 'Habibi,' a giant, polystyrene and resin human skeleton creation by Algerian-born French artist Adel Abdessemed, at the Regional Contemporary Art Collection in Reims, February 24, 2004. 'Habibi,' translating as 'Darling,' 'Dear' or 'Beloved,' measures 17 meters long, is presented like a giant dinosaur fossil, floating outstretched above the floor.

"Don't make a sound, children... if we don't move it can't see us."

His one dream was to be in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, but he
just couldn't seem to get the bouyancy and height he needed to join the other balloons.

Although confined to captivity, he lived for the times
when he scared the pants off the new night watchmen.

Eating candy skulls; spending the night in the cemetery with candles and food; giant skeletons at the fairs; yes, Mexico knows how to celebrate the Day of the Dead!

Somehow the pink seems to take a little of the edge off the spookiness.


"FOOLISH MORTALS! FLEE BEFORE MY WRATH...
FOR BEHOLD: GOMM-TUU THE UNLIKELY LIVES AGAIN!

"Just gimme a minute, gotta rest my bones."

The Skull Sauna

The skeletal spotlight shines this time on:
A Skull-shaped Sauna

This thing would make you break out in a sweat without even getting into it.

This backyard sauna from hell, shaped like a skull, might seem like the ultimate Halloween yard decoration, but it's actually made for regular use. By the Grim Reaper, possibly? Satan? Roseanne Barr?

It was created by an artist who makes his pieces reflect his views on politics, death and sex... and all three at once, where possible. I suppose that makes sense when you look at Washington today. Here's a statement about the Skull Sauna from his site:

Wellness Skull, 2007

"The Wellness Skull is an impressive large skull. Just like Wellness centers it has a few places to relax. In the neck of the skull is a small bath. The head of the Skull contains a sauna. When it is working the hot steam pears (sic) out of the eye sockets.

Joep van Lieshout about the Wellness Skull: “The heavenly power is the big unknown, the death of the hereafter, the skull of physical shell of the mind. The earthly power is a economical power, money plays an important role on our contemporary society. Gradually the faith loses all importance and is replaced by an alternative ‘self experience’, through travelling, sporting and wellness centres.”

I have no idea what any of that is supposed to mean. I suspect it's not any mental deficiency on my part, but rather, that the entire statement reflects the weirdness and existentialisim of the builder. In other words, meaningless BS. His site bears this up. Other sculptures depict huge male members and group enemas. I trust no-one who has for an entry page drawings of a naked man hanging from wires by various appendages, including the whack-a-doodle, which I'm sure couldn't hold your body weight without coming off.

In other words, he's out of his skull even when he's in this.

Another thing to consider is that the danger level of such a device is geometrically increased by shaping it like a Death's Head. Getting stuck in it when the door jams and broiled alive by scalding steam is practically a certainty with a shape like that. That's not just tempting fate, it's smacking it in the face and saying "now whatcha gonna do, bad boy?" Ironic doom is not that hard of a natural force to invoke.

And as the coroner examines your cooked, peeling-flesh corpse, he'll say, "Well, what did he expect, taking a steam bath inside a skull?" And he'd be right, you asked for it.

Get Out Of My SKULL!

The skeletal spotlight shines this time on:
The 2006 Bones Exhibit in Huntsville, AL

"Look, mommy! I'm going to need therapy!"

What I wouldn't give to have this for a Halloween decoration in my front yard!

In 2006 The Bones Exhibit at the Sci-Quest Hands-On Science Center in Huntsville, Alabama gave visitors a chance to see the inner workings of the skeleton up close. Of interest to me is the giant skull that you could crawl in and look out of the eyehole. I suppose this was so one could see how it feels to be a maggot crawling in and out, like the kids song tells us. "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinocle on your snout."

It would have been a lot more interesting, and probably better attended, if the rest of the song had been illustrated, rather than boring facts. I'd pay good money, and the kids would have dragged the parents to see how "your stomach turns a slimy green, and pus pours out like whipping cream." Then they could have spread it on a piece of bread for a truly interactive experience.

Although popular with the crowds, the night watchman absolutely hated the exhibit.

For more details, go here:

http://huntsville.about.com/od/photogallery/ss/bones.htm

I just want to know where they got a real skull that big.