Thursday, September 18, 2008

Boris the Friendly Skeleton

The Skeletal Spotlight shines this time on:
Boris the Friendly (and Educational) Skeleton

Todd and Elliot learn that, when you take away all the skin, muscles, tendons and organs, Boris was just like them. Only taller.

Skeletons get a bad rap, man. People see one walking -simply walking down the street, minding their own bony business- and they freak out. The screaming, the running, the chasing with torches... Oy! It's enough to make a skeleton hide all day in a closet and not venture out till the dead of night, to gather with friends in an out-of-the-way cemetery and dance till dawn.

But thanks to an effort by open-minded educators, the feared and derided skeleton is getting a new image, with a long overdue public relations facelift. Visiting schools and rubbing shoulders with kids across the country, Boris The Friendly Skeleton makes pals and works tirelessly to change the public perception of skeletons as scary creatures who leap out of dark corners just to frighten people.

Boris and a group of private school attendees have an informal chat about the beneficial effects on society of living/dead relationships.

It's true, that some of the blame for the stereotype must be laid at the metatarsals of many skulking skeletons who love to do just that, dragging guilty double-crossers and murderers down to a well-deserved early grave. But kind and innocent people have little to fear from revenging skeletons, and Boris is making the point wherever he goes. Of course, there was that unfortunate much-publicised incident where he did suddenly strangle a teacher's aide and feed her to the alligators during a field trip. But as he told the press later, "That woman had killed the wife of a fellow teacher she was having an affair with, and disposed of her remains by feeding them to the alligators she cared for on her moon-lighting job at the zoo. I had to act; it's a living skeleton mandate!" After the furor died down, few could argue with the justice in that; but some remain skeptical and worried about letting him around their children.

"See, kids? This skull is from a baby skeleton who was even younger than you when he died. And Boris here doesn't even mind that your hand is on his naked crotch. He has no organs!"

David Finklestein voiced his concern in a recent parent-teacher's meeting. "What if my kid steals a candy bar --heaven forbid-- and Boris suddenly decides to pour acid over his hands in ironic revenge?" Susan Jackson, a mother of two, spoke up. "And who knows what's in the brain of a skeleton... I suppose they have a brain, don't they? Anyway, what if he gets the urge and takes a bite out of my little Billy? It's just in their nature, they can't help it. You can take the skeleton out of a killer, but you can't take the killer out of the skeleton!"

Smiles all around as Boris shares a happy moment with his new little friends.

It was for such unreasoning prejudice that the "Friends of The Long Deceased" society hired Boris and sponsored his tour of public schools around the country. They also created a line of educational toys designed to rear a new generation that was free of skeletophobia. You can see below that they are successful in helping kids be fear-free toward our fleshless relatives.

Deron never knew that blowing into bones could be so much fun!

Little Leslie wants to be a forensic investigator when she grows up.

Teresa's curiosity overcame her parent's warnings that children shouldn't play with dead things.

Read all about it here:

Skeletons are our friends. We should support them, because they support us every day of our lives. And after all, there's a little bit of skeleton in all of us, isn't there?

Today's "Garfield In Disguise" strips:

More to come!


Absinthe said...

Fred - your sick, your twisted but that's why I love you.

Frederick said...

Thank you... and those are my *good* points!